But … he must want to live in order that the inclination to repeat this incident may not recur. Ann Veronica had come to the Imperial College obsessed by the great figure of Russell, by the part he had played in the Darwinian controversies, and by the resolute effect of the grim-lipped, yellow, leonine face beneath the mane of silvery hair. In the one he approached was gathered together a vast assortment of weapons, each of which, as appeared from the ticket attached to it, had been used as an instrument of destruction. This threat terrified Ann Veronica so much that she declared with sobs and vehemence that she would never come home again, and for a time both talked at once and very wildly. She slipped on white thin-soled tennis shoes with no socks, her ankles exposed as Shari had once suggested they be worn. ‘Stay, Saling!’ The butler halted, looking round enquiringly. It is extraordinary. The first of these, whom he addressed as Mr. She was conscious the whole conversation of Michelle, trying to divine what the girl was planning to do. She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll.
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